Somebody Make This a Hallmark Movie

I have a confession to make. My secret indulgence at Christmastime isn’t fudge. It isn’t Christmas cookies. My secret indulgence is Hallmark movies. I love the silly plots, the too well-dressed actors, and the totally realistic snow (sarcasm). Hallmark movies are just so BAD, right? You can’t help but love to hate them!

But here’s the thing. If someone wrote down Tyler’s and my love story, I’m pretty sure we could qualify for a Hallmark love story. Intelligent business major meets quirky biologist and proposes in a hot air balloon? Sounds like the Hallmark recipe to me! So if our love story is a Hallmark movie, then this blog post can be our sequel. Let’s call it “A Romantic Wyoming Winter”!

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Featured photos: https://photos.app.goo.gl/TvyerYbLiGdWdJMN6

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The opening scene to “A Romantic Wyoming Winter” takes place in the rustic lobby of the Wagon Wheel Hotel. Wood furniture complements the mounted deer heads on the walls. Wagon and Native American-themed decor fill the space. The hotel has a distinctly small-town feel to it, as if you’re in the kind of space where everyone trusts everyone. This was actually the case, because there was no desk clerk on duty when we left. A convenient container of Tide pods lingered on the counter next to the “Ring Bell for Assistance” sign. A vacuum cleaner stood forgotten in a corner of the hallway. There was even a skateboard next to the front door, although I have no idea who would be skateboarding in 10 inches of snow. 

After the camera pans across the hotel lobby, the movie’s two protagonists would enter. In real life, this would be Tyler and me. In a Hallmark movie, of course, they would have hired people who look nothing like us. Tyler’s actor would probably have on impractical shoes, a giant parka, and a beard that isn’t nearly as handsome as Tyler’s. My actor would have flawless makeup, a cute outfit, and blonde hair that doesn’t frizz at the smallest inconvenience. As cheery nondescript music plays in the background, our characters would stroll across the lobby, suitcases in tow. As our characters load our suitcases into an impractical, perfectly clean vehicle, romantic snowflakes start falling. Undoubtedly, my character would make a clever quip about the weather, something corny like “Ahhhh, this snow reminds me of us. It’s falling just like I’m falling in love with you!”

The next scene of “A Romantic Wyoming Winter” would take place at the West Yellowstone Grizzly and Wolf Discovery Center. Hand in hand, our characters would stroll down snow-covered sidewalks, marveling at the majestic predators. A pack of wolves (that look oddly like huskies) would gallop through the snow in slow motion. A massive grizzly bear rears on its hind legs and lets out a roar. Our characters, smiling in the styrofoam snowfall, would laugh and gaze dreamily at each other. In the studio executives’ minds, it would be the perfect embodiment of a Montana Hallmark scene. Wolves, grizzlies, and snow. What more could you want?

Our reality was a little less polished. We did visit the Grizzly and Wolf Discovery Center, but it was in an authentic Montana snowstorm. The snow fell so heavily that my camera struggled to focus on the terrific predators we witnessed. Darkish blurs were all that my poor lens captured. Undeterred, Tyler and I abandoned the cameras for a bit just to watch. It was a spectacular experience. The Discovery Center is home to six grizzlies and four wolves. The grizzlies live in comfortable dens and are periodically allowed out into a fenced pasture multiple times a day. Their pasture features a pond, waterfall, climbing structure, and lots of hidden food. When we first arrived, two grizzlies named Bo and Coram had just been released for their turn in the pasture. Eagerly, they ambled out in the snow to find the snacks staff had hidden for them. The younger Bo bounced from spot to spot, as if too impatient to search out the most difficult snacks. Coram, a hulking figure, dedicated himself to one foraging location until he had scratched out every trace of his snack. When the big grizzly lifted his heavy head, we were interested to notice that the old bear was blind in one eye. A nearby sign informed us that when Coram lived in the wild, he had a penchant for climbing onto porches and eating dog food. Did the young Coram get into a fight with a bullish dog and injure his eye? The sign wasn’t clear. We were left to wonder. 

To escape the dense snow, we retreated into a small building between the two wolf habitats. Ceiling-to-floor windows afforded views of both habitats. The wolves were very aware of this, and would often trot right up to the windows to peer at us. When both packs of wolves stood at the windows simultaneously, we felt uncomfortably like fish in a fishbowl. Being so close to the wolves was awe-inspiring, but frightening too. Wolves are much, much larger than the average dog. Their sharp eyes emanate intensity and keen intelligence. Unlike the ambling, happy grizzlies, the wolves were unmistakably wild. If they ever found a way to escape their enclosures, they would melt into the wilderness without hesitation. Heaven help anything that might get in their way. 

Our time at the Grizzly and Wolf Discovery Center was marvelous, but we did have one stressful moment. In our Hallmark movie, this would probably be over-dramaticized as the climax of the film. Let’s return to our fictional characters and see how they handle it!

Hallmark Grace and Hallmark Tyler would be cozied up inside a rustic warming hut. A wood stove crackles cheerily in the corner while snow-covered grizzlies can be seen through a picture window. Fictional Grace sets down her cup of hot cocoa and picks up her camera. A puzzled expression crosses her face as she presses a couple buttons. 

“Oh no!” she wails. 

Fictional Tyler sets down his cocoa too. “What’s wrong?”

Grace is still fruitlessly pressing buttons on her camera. “My battery is dead! How am I going to take wildlife photos for our characteristically charming county fair photography contest if my battery is dead? My chance for the Photography Queen crown is ruined!”

Fictional Grace dramatically flops back on the bench as Fictional Tyler attempts to comfort her. In the midst of her privileged sorrow, something catches Grace’s eye. 

“An outlet!”

“You’re right, I know photography is your creative outlet, but it’s not your only passion-” Tyler says, still trying to comfort her.

Grace interrupts. “No, not a creative outlet. A real outlet! Look!” 

Grace leaps up from her seat and crosses the hut quickly, pointing out a small electrical outlet behind the stove. The music swells. Grace’s chances of winning the county fair Photography Queen crown have been restored. Eagerly, she plugs in her battery, entirely disregarding the hazard of putting a lithium battery near open flame. While the battery charges, the happy couple elects to continue exploring the Discovery Center, leaving the camera bag behind. Cheerfully, they stroll hand-in-hand in the snow, clutching their coffees. They see otters, eagles, bears, and wolves. They hold a spontaneous snowball fight near the otters. They catch snowflakes on their tongues at the bear enclosure. Happy music continues to play in the background. And that’s when disaster strikes.

Laughing, Fictional Tyler and Fictional Grace tumble back into the warming hut. They’re covered in snow from their snowball fight. Their cheeks are rosy and their smiles are big. That is, until they notice.

Grace shrieks.

“My camera bag is gone!!!!!”

They look everywhere. They retrace their steps. They attempt to follow the footprints of a staff member. Fictional Tyler even shows a picture of the camera bag to a wolf. No luck. Defeated, the unhappy couple retreats to the visitor center, where they discuss their options behind a rack of promotional t-shirts. Fictional Grace is dejected. She envisions a tragic scene where the glittering photography crown is placed on her rival’s head while Grace quietly weeps in a corner. This dramatic daydream seems to rally Grace’s resolve. Straightening her back, Fictional Grace looks at Fictional Tyler with a grim expression.

“I have one last idea,” she declares. 

Posture rigid, she marches up to the visitor center counter. A grandmotherly woman resembling Mrs. Claus greets them. 

“Howdy folks! How can I help ya?” 

Grace puts on a grim smile. “Yes, I was just wondering if anyone turned in a camera bag?”

The old woman’s blue eyes widen. “Oh, yes! One second.” 

The Mrs. Claus lookalike retreats to a corner, where she retrieves the familiar camera bag from a hiding place under some promotional sweatshirts and tote bags. She returns to the counter and eyes the young couple appraisingly.

“What’s the name on the camera bag?” she asks.

(Breaking the fourth wall here. This question was extremely confusing, because we don’t have a name on the camera bag. When I tried to explain this to the clerk, she insisted that the camera bag had a name. Flustered, I gave her our names. With a smile, she slid the bag across the counter. She explained that she had gone through the bag’s contents and discovered forgotten luggage tickets in an outside pocket. Luggage tickets, of course, carry the name of the passenger. Duh!)

Mrs. Claus surveys the young couple with sharp blue eyes as they giddily reclaim their camera bag.

“You really ought to be more careful,” she chides them kindly. “One of our staff members brought this to me. You’re lucky it came to me. Some of our other staff have a…” she clears her throat, “...track record… for theft.” 

Discretely, she nods her grey head towards another employee. The employee wears an air of disheveled chaos. Her company shirt is wrinkled. She hums loudly, bobbing a head of faded purple hair to her tuneless melody.  Fictional Grace’s eyes widen as she recognizes the employee. 

She whirls back to Mrs. Claus and says in a shocked whisper, “That was the lady that sold us the tickets this morning!” 

The woman nods her head sagely, “I just took over the counter when your camera was brought in. Like I said, you were lucky.”

Fictional Grace and Tyler thank the kind old woman profusely. As they leave the Discovery Center, they are too shocked to notice the staff member who holds the door for them. He watches the couple retreat into the snow, smiling to himself. His blue eyes crinkle above a thick beard dusted in snow. He is joined at the door by the old woman, who brushes snow off his red coat affectionately. 

He looks down at her. “Did they get it back?”

She nods, smiling up at him. “They did, thanks to you. How did you know to find it in the warming hut? You always have a sense for these things, Nick.” 

The man taps the side of his nose cheerfully. “Sometimes, you just know!”

The cheerful Hallmark music returns as the story winds down to an end. We are treated to a quick montage of scenes as Tyler and Grace explore another charming, western town. They drink hot cocoa and walk the boardwalks of Jackson, Wyoming, hand in hand. Thick snowflakes dust their hair as they watch graceful ice skaters in the local park. They share a pizza in a charming restaurant. Periodically, the camera zooms in on Grace, who clasps her camera gratefully in her hands. She grins knowingly, as if envisioning that photography crown on her head. The credits roll, then the final title screen appears. 

“A Romantic Wyoming Winter”