Nobody Died in This Story

Our vacation was becoming Floridian by nature. Like Florida’s humid atmosphere, our trip was saturated with experiences, dripping with memories. We had shaped our trip like a sponge, filling it to the brim with everything Florida had to offer. Every moment was a new adventure in a new location. And so, before our sponge could be wrung, we squeezed in one more adventure before our flight home.

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Featured photos: https://photos.app.goo.gl/uLymXun4VDoVL5qk6

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November 11th, 2024 - Florida Day 6

It was Veterans Day in Miami. As far as the eye could see, vacationers and locals were milling about. The Miami police force had their hands full. On one street corner, they were attempting to conduct a routine traffic stop amidst the hubbub. At another intersection, they were erecting barricades to create a route for the Veterans Day parade. Horns honked, people chattered, and engines roared. It was a vibrant, bustling scene.

I surveyed this cityscape from a sidewalk where I stood with my back pressed against a building. I was trying to avoid getting my toes run over. Tyler, wearing a helmet, was just up the street getting a Segway tutorial from a dude with really long dreadlocks. We had never ridden Segways before. In fact, our only experience amounted to watching Mall Cop a few times. Despite this, we had booked a Segway tour of Miami. Bad idea? Maybe. Tyler, however, seemed to be thriving. After a few wobbly turns, he had it down pat. I watched him whip around and zoom past, resembling an urban cowboy in shorts. He was doing so great! I was getting nervous. I doubted I would demonstrate any of the proficiency Tyler had. In fact, I envisioned myself mounting the heavy scooter, panicking, and promptly running someone over. Or worse, accelerating the Segway right into a light pole, much to the demise of my teeth!

When my turn came, I stepped onto the Segway gingerly. Wobble, wobble. I rose up on my toes to regain my balance. Bad idea. I was rolling forward! Startled, I rocked backwards onto my heels. Now I was going in reverse! Sensing my panic, the tour guide grabbed my handlebars. He steadied the Segway, assessing me calmly through big sunglasses. He didn’t seem too concerned about my state. In fact, he was pretty chill. He reminded me of Shaggy from Scooby Doo, but with a beard and heavy dreadlocks knotted beneath his ballcap. Strolling up and down the sidewalk, he taught me how to stop, start, and accelerate. It wasn’t as complicated as I had imagined, but it was still tricky. When a young woman passed us on the sidewalk, I gritted my teeth in concentration. Don’t run her over, don’t run her over, don’t run her over, I repeated to myself. I am happy to report that the young woman escaped the Segway danger zone unharmed! 

When Shaggy the Segway tour guide decided we were ready, he mounted his own Segway and led us into the street. We followed like wobbly, rolling ducklings. Shaggy drove his Segway with his hands clasped behind his back, a feat I still can’t quite figure out. He was powering the Segway with what, sheer ankle strength? Telepathy? I couldn’t dwell on it too much, because my primary focus was not running people over. And there were a LOT of people in Miami. Due to the holiday, the Monday work crowds were filling the sidewalks. They exercised at outdoor public gyms. They flooded towards the beaches and cafes. They congregated along the parade route, waiting eagerly for the Veterans Day festivities to commence. Interestingly, snipers perched on high rooftops were watching the parade festivities too. We saw a guy on a motorcycle pop a wheelie down the parade street. We saw a little boy dressed like a cop riding a battery-powered motorcycle too (no wheelies from the mini cop). We saw a sunburnt old lady wearing American flag shorts and a Trump flag tied around her neck. Beneath her mirrored sunglasses and Trump ballcap, her sun-crisped scowl even resembled Trump’s. The people-watching in Miami was definitely excellent!

The Miami scenery, too, was excellent. Miami is known for the care it has taken to preserve Art Deco architecture throughout the city. Painted in tropical pinks and creamy yellows, the buildings feature vintage signage, tall leading lines, protruding window awnings, and bold shapes. The Art Deco symmetry was so visually satisfying. If I hadn’t been wobbling along on a Segway, I probably could have lingered all day just to take pictures! Shaggy let us stop at the Miami beach for a selfie on the white sand. He guided us through a quaint neighborhood with cafes and palm trees filling the street. He even took us to see the Orb, a giant white sphere suspended in a nondescript alley. Allegedly, the Orb serves as a skybridge between two buildings. I thought it looked more like an alien forgot their spaceship in Florida!

After we had wrapped up our Segway tour, we escaped the humid heat in the fanciest Italian gelato shop we’ve ever witnessed. Each colorful dessert was perfectly arrayed in the cooler like a painter’s palette. Some of the gelato rose high in their containers in flowery swirls. Other bins were striped with color. The desserts were artistic, vibrant, and delicious. We felt very fancy as we shared the cool treat. For me, the gelato was a celebration of successfully not killing anyone with my Segway. That’s an accomplishment, right? 

Shortly thereafter, we were back in the car and heading towards the airport. Our visit in Miami, albeit a short one, was memorable. I decided that I liked it in Miami. The history, the architecture, and the feeling of community were tangible, despite the size of the city. It was a space brimming with culture and life. Like all our adventures, it served to bring Tyler and I closer together. And that, friends, was a worthwhile way to end a trip.